I heard rumors that I would be more relaxed with baby number 2, that was true. I heard that with the second baby you’ll feel more confident in responding to their cries, that was true too. I also heard that with baby number 2 I would be able to really enjoy them being a baby and for me, that was also very true. I already miss him being this little, the folds in his legs, the chubby cheeks and pouty mouth when he looks down at his own fluffy hands. I already miss the noises he makes and the feeling of new love in my heart.

What I didn’t expect were some other changes in me. No one told me I would be softer with baby number 2. The realization he will only be this little for a little while has a whole new meaning. His need for me diminishes everyday and I don’t want to rush it. I tell myself every night as he wakes me up multiple times, what if it’s the last time he cries for me? I will miss him holding so still resting his head on my chest. He’s 6 months now and those unlimited all access snuggles have already faded away. He wants to explore the world beyond my arms, pulling up on the tv stand and finding all the sharpest corners in the house. I try to savor every moment longer, stronger, but I’m not really sure how. Watching him splash in the bathtub without the constant worry I had with my first is the sweetest treasure of baby number 2. That I honestly didn’t think was even possible for me.

I also didn’t expect to see the changes in my husband, as a father. He too knows a little better what to do. I (sometimes) can even take showers without him coming in just to hold a crying baby because he thought he needed to see his mama. I watch him take in the little one’s smiles, longer. I see him, as well as myself, enjoying this parenting gig in a whole new way.

I wanted my first to grow up quickly because I was so excited to see him do all those new things. I wanted him to crawl, walk and talk just like every mother does. The rumors were true about baby number 2, you just want them to stay little because the days go even faster with 2 kids and it becomes even harder to make time slow down and it seems moments just slip through your fingers. Meanwhile my first keeps getting older by the minute too. I never thought watching them grow up would break my heart in so many ways as it does heal it.

I’m thankful for the changes I see in my first child. He’s learning to be respectful when the baby is napping. He’s learning to be careful not to hurt his little brother when they play. Most importantly and the one I was most concerned about is the fact that he’s learned to share me. Much better and quicker than I ever anticipated.

I didn’t realize how much we all needed baby number 2. How he can pull my toddler out of a bad mood. How his smile energizes me through out the day. How much my husband has learned to love being a father. I didn’t expect to need him more than he will probably ever need me.