Let me be clear, I’m not asking for help or encouragement to “keep going.” I’m done and what a beautiful journey it has been.
I breastfed my first for 12 months and he ended up weaning himself the week of his birthday. I tried to throw in the towel at 6 months but he wouldn’t take a bottle and frankly I gave up trying. I didn’t want to fight it anymore. I also hated pumping, so I was never one of those moms who had a stash. I fed him every single milky meal and boobie snack. I guess you could say what we had going on worked for us both at the time.
This is round two. Not much has changed besides the fact that I’m now chasing two. I still worry if my youngest is getting enough breastmilk, just like most exclusively breastfeeding mamas do. I worry about getting sick and leaving my family to figure out how to care for him at a moments notice. He also has a dairy intolerance so I’ve been dairy free for 6 months which is no easy task. For those of you who think it’s just milk, butter and cheese, dairy is hiding in the weirdest paces. Lunch meats, bread and even wine. Apparently a dairy substitute they put in a lot of food is pea protein and it KILLS my stomach and my husband’s nose.
The moral of this story is that I’m just done, done worrying about my supply, done worrying about accidentally eating something that will hurt his stomach. Done worrying about easy nipple access. Done worrying about being the only one who can feed him. I’m just done. It’s not that I disliked breastfeeding, I’m ready to move on. My little dude is 8 months and I’m going to start him on European goats milk formula. There, I said it. Goat mom.
I’m writing this for those who feel the same, the shame, stress and worry. I’m writing this because thankfully my pediatrician who also agrees with me and I’m here to tell you if no one else will, you don’t have to breastfeed and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
It’s actually bittersweet. Like the last day of school. The end of one thing and the start of something new.
Tell me about your feeding babies experience. ♥️ All experiences welcome, but mom shaming will not be tolerated.
I feel this so hard! My little is 7 months and also has a dairy intolerance. My daughter I nursed until she was 9 months and she weaned herself. She also wasn’t sensitive to anything I ate so it wasn’t as taxing. I miss CHEESE and not having to read the label on everything before. This is my last baby so part of me is holding on and also stressing about the switch to formula- not cut and dry with dairy sensitivity. Thank you for this post- always comforting to know you aren’t alone!
I’m on my first kid and she just turned 2 months and I was only able to breastfeed for maybe a month before my boobs decided to dry up. It was kinda hard on me if I’m being honest. I was so determined to breast feed for at least the first year. But my baby had latch issues and I didn’t find out about boob shields until it was to late and my supply had dropped. I tried boobie tea, two different kinds. Finally I just decided to make the switch to full formula.
Thank you for this post and all your other post!!! You make me feel like NOT a crazy person or a horrible mother. I have a one year old and just became a twin mommy exactly a year later. Yes you read that right one year later , all my babies share the same birthday . I missed my sweet boys first birthday bc i was giving birth to my sweet baby girls. I exclusively breastfed my son until he was 9 months old when my twin pregnancy took a turn for the worst and I was ordered to stop bc of my risk of preterm labor. I was devastated. I found joy in thinking how I would get back on a new breastfeeding journey with twins, but now they are here and it’s not the same. They were born at 32 weeks so they still have a hard time ejecting milk so pumping and bottle feeding is how we do things and like you I HATE pumping. Twins with a one year old is already soooo time consuming and exhausting and HARD AF!!! Pumping just makes shit even worse, staying up longer to pump, freeze milk, washing extra parts having to take bottles and milk and pump parts everywhere we go is just a lot. Miss the days where as long as I had diapers wipes and extra pair of clothes we were on the go. I’d pop It out feed my boy and get back to whatever we were doing. I feel so guilty wanting to give up and not do this anymore but I find no joy in it, I get soooo annoyed when it’s time to pump I will find any reason not to . I have a decision to make whether to go on or not but you’ve made me feel sooo normal and not so crazy about feeling the way I do. Thank you ♥️