I kept thinking that I was touched out because I was breastfeeding. I saw some examples from other moms claiming the same on the internet, but I stopped and nothing changed for me.
I thought maybe I was touched from out being a stay-at-home mom, turns out after starting daycare it wasn’t the case either.
I thought maybe after the small children years passed, it would come back and then I remembered we started having trouble with intimacy before the kids even arrived.
I thought maybe I was too tired, too hungry, too stressed, I could come up with 100 excuses in 100 seconds for myself as to why I didn’t want to be touched.
No matter what I tried, nothing changed.
I love my husband and that’s why I don’t want my husband to live out the rest of his life in a loveless marriage. That’s why we are calling it quits.
We were best friends before we started dating romantically and we plan on staying the best of friends after. Actually, so much so that we will continue living together on separate ends of the house so we can continue to raise our kids together. So he can see them wake up each morning and help me get them ready for bed. We do not resent each other, I’m not mad at him and he is not mad at me. We will be putting our little humans needs first and we all know happy parents, usually means happy children.
It’s a little unorthodox, I know and it will take a lot of communication to make it work, but we are great at that and we will remain a team.
It took me 32 years to figure out what Tiktok uncovered in a matter of minutes. I am attracted to women. Admitting that to myself was hard and then telling my husband was even harder. The more I soul search the more I realized the signs that I missed growing up and all my previous relationships end the same way. Once the new and fun wears off I am no longer physically attracted and I simply can’t bring myself to have sex. I try, but it’s a chore that I cannot enjoy, trust me I’ve tried. But I kept dating more men and the cycle would continue. Being attracted to the same sex never occured to me until tiktok showed me a specific type of woman, I had never really been exposed to before and I felt something I have never felt before.
It’s crazy to be where I am today and if you had told me 6 months ago I would be writing this I might have laughed in your face, but deep down inside maybe know it was coming.
My content is not going to change, I’m still a mother who struggles everyday and my marriage jokes will also be the same since we will all be living under the same roof.
My mission in everything I do is to bring acceptance to anyone who is feeling the same. All of our differences and similarities make us who we are. This is a strange thing to announce to so many people at once and I do expect some of you to leave. I hope that you don’t, that we’ve come far enough to accept others they way they truly are because aren’t we all in search of love and happiness.
This is who I am and there is no changing it. Safe to say I’m even extra Fruity now.
Feel free to ask me anything, I am and will always be an open book for anyone who needs help.
You go, Girl!!! 💕
This made me stop and think about my situation and it sounds much like yours but I’m still in denial. Just a little bit longer. I’m 34-35 this year so I’m right behind you. Maybe I just need another couple years to really figure this out.
Thank you for this post!
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing and staying true to yourself and your family! What a great example you are to those beautiful children and all of your followers who come here for the truths of motherhood! Xoxo
Good for you!! Live your life, girl!!
A big bear hug to you. Acceptance is what we need to learn. I struggle to mother my 2 toddler boys too. Sometimes I feel I should never have thought of getting conceived. But I love them. It’s just that the parenting thing sucks. I wish you well and best for you. May your kids be the happiest.
Good for you Linda! The father of your children sounds like an amazing man as he is helping you live your truth. Love to you in this new chapter of your life and your beautiful family ❤
Wow! I commend you for always sharing your truth!!! Thank you
❤️❤️
I’m so happy you’re doing what’s best for you and all your loves. Thank you for having the balls of all time to do it so openly and share your why. So much of your story resonates with me always, but this piece about being attracted to women and finding sex with the man you love a chore…I feel you on this deeply. I’m curious what “type” of women you’re seeing on tiktok that you’ve never seen before that so changes your mind on things. Or maybe it’s timing and 500 other factors allowing you to see so clearly. I don’t know. But I’m fascinated and ready to hear more!!
Not a therapist, just been through it all… I gotta say, you really can get touched out with a girl too. Attraction is weirdly connected to resentment. If you have unmet emotional needs, resentment builds and you just don’t wanna be intimate. You don’t feel they deserve your intimacy until they really hear you and make whatever necessary change they need to make for you. It happens in bi/lesbian/pan/poly/ace relationships too.
I applaud you for doing what many can’t do due to society or the way they were raised. I have found myself in your situation it was and is so difficult. I love my husband to death, I’ve been with him since I was 14 years of age. All along I saw the signs and avoided them. Until I started to act upon them. It hurt my marriage but opened up a different side of us that I never knew existed. My husband is 100% ok with my Sexuality and we stand by each other in front of the world as the perfect the couple. Yet deep down I can never be true to myself as we took those vows for our kids till death do us part and I’m ok with that for now.
Thank you for doing the brave thing i can not do.
Beautiful and brave.
Good luck on this new journey.
I admire your courage and transparency on an incredibly tough subject.
I also admire your strength to follow your heart.
Your Instagram page is one of my favorites and I’ll continue to follow you because you are hilarious and a super sweet person. I wish you and your family nothing but the best as you begin on a new journey together.
I learned I was bi on TikTok this year at 30+ years old. How is it possible that we learn more about ourselves in 10 minutes of TikTok than we did in 30 years? Cheers to you!
Hi, I’m curious to know how TikTok is helping you to figure this out. I think that’s incredible and great for you for finding yourself. I’d love to know more.
Wow. I am so happy for you. This is so refreshing and freeing to read that I’m not alone in this feeling of wanting to stay friends with your husband but also leave them…I am currently having an issue with this right now.
Happy to know I’m not alone 💜
Thank you so so so much for sharing this – I have been following you on Instagram for a while and just started getting into reading “Mom Blogs”. This post made me ugly cry at work and I am so proud of you for being open and honest and I am so ready to watch your journey.
Sending love and support!
❤️❤️❤️
I absolutely feel the same. I cannot bare being touched by the father of my child. He moved away to texas for work, and now I feel at piece. I no longer feel the need for sex, or even think about dating or looking for another male. Motherhood has kept me busy enough. But I do have another problem I would like to have my second child with the same father.
What type of women opened your eyes to the attraction?
You are so strong, and I’m grateful you continue to be honest! We need that in this world ❤️
For a bit, my ex husband and I lived together and tried to raise the kids – while virtually living separate lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I wish you both the best ❤️
You say you expect some of us to leave. Just wanted to let you know: I won´t.
You are simply amazing! Please continue to be your true self That’s really inspiring with all the fake that we have going on on the Internet
This announcement only makes me respect you more; I’m not going anywhere.
You are so brave and I solute you and wish you nothing but love and laughter!
But … that being said. I am curious to see this TikTok! Lmao
Wishing you the best in your journey, it takes a brave soul to make a tough decision.
So proud of you! That takes a lot! I am attracted to women as well.. I am bisexual.. discovered that at such a young age.. are you meaning you’re lesbian or discovered you are bisexual now? Wish and hope the best for you 😘
Hallelujah. I am in the process of moving out (I close on my new house this week) after realizing that I am gay and working through a mostly amicable divorce with my husband. It’s been a year since I admitted it to myself. 8 months since I told him. We have lived together and raised the kids (2) together that whole time. I don’t regret my relationship with him, or my time devoted to our marriage. AND I can’t continue living a lie. I support you and your family whole heartedly; it’s not orthodox, it’s not easy (Jesus take the wheel… No, it’s not.), but it leads to so much more joy and fulfillment. Thank you for being honest about this: it makes me feel not so alone. Live to you as you figure out the next pieces of your journey!
Yes mama! Gotta stay true to yourself! Good luck on your new journey! 😘😘
I think you are brave and awesome. Thank you for continuing to share your journey.
I just wanna say that I’ve been following you for quite some time now but there are many people who can relate do you women or men. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say something like this and I just wanna tell you that is very much appreciated by many. You definitely give me encouragement to findHumor in my daily routine with my kids my man and my family. You also remind me sometimes things are not OK and that’s OK. I hope that this new step in your life brings you peace and all that you neeed and want when it comes to comfort and love, we all deserve that… And what you did would probably be the first step in giving yourself the love that could fill your heart the way you need. Thanks for sharing ! Peace and love to you and your family ❤️
My baby is 1 year old and I’ve just left my husband, firstly because I realised it’s a very toxic and potentially abusive relationship, but amongst everything I’ve also just come out as bisexual and hope very much to not date men from now on! Hoorah! Just wanted to say thank you for sharing and also to send you love and solidarity for living your truth so bravely xx
Wow you are so brave and courageous to share this and I’m sure you have helped many others realize something similar. Good for you mama ❤️❤️❤️ I wish you and your family the best in this new journey.
wow woman this makes me love u even more. while i may not have discovered my love for the female sex- the feeling for husband are the same. the plan for moving on is also the same. living in the same house for the kiddos. lets normalize parents being happy- no matter what that looks like!
Beautiful to see how open, honest and vulnerable you share your story with the world. It’s inspiring and I wish you lots of love and strength.
I have followed you for a long time & always admired your brave posts. This post specifically took a LOT of courage & it’s amazing that you are discovering who you are and what you want. I myself am going through something not quite the same but very similar. It’s amazing to see that I’m not feeling the things I’m feeling alone. Good luck to you & even though I don’t personally know you – I am so proud of you!!
I’m the same about sex and have tried so many things… can you share the tik tok link?
I recently divorced my husband of almost 3 years for the same reason. I’ve always known I was attracted to women, but growing up in a Christian household and community, that was not an option. I tried my whole life to deny a huge part of myself and “do the right thing” by marrying a man and raising our daughter together. I met and fell in love with someone while we were married and I knew it was only a matter of time until I would have to come clean. I finally did and it was the hardest but most liberating things I’ve ever done for myself. My heart and my support are with you. Choosing to live your authentic truth is never the wrong decision.
Wow! Congratulations on gaining this clarity and having the courage to tell the truth and honor yourself. It’s really inspiring.
Personally, I dated a woman (my first and last, sadly) right before I met my husband, became pregnant early on, and eventually got married. We have been together 10 years and have three wonderful kids. We’re happy and he’s a truly special man. I do wonder though what would have been if I’d explored that piece of my sexuality more. My ex was a bit skeptical of my true intentions when we dated – whether I was truly bisexual or gay even, or if I was simply “dipping my toe in the water”. It’s so hard & I commend you for finding the clarity you needed to move forward and find a truly fulfilling relationship.
I wish you & your family all the best.
My wife had a similar experience.. I myself have always been attracted to the same sex. She didn’t find out until a little later in life, her and her ex-husband were mid-divorce when we met. They had a 2 year old son at the time, and her and I now have a daughter of our own along with joint custody of our son.
I’m glad to hear that he is understanding and supportive of your truth. Congrats on owning it! Now you can live it! I hope happiness finds you in all the ways you’ve not yet known and beyond!
Welcome to the team;) it smells nicer over here.
After a long cloudy day, not only the weather but my mind. Feeling absolutely hopeless, lost, numb to the point that I could not think of physically feel anything because of the pain. I come home and stepped away from my kids leaving them to talk over the phone with their dad, I waited until they finished because I couldn’t see his face, I don’t want to. I can’t just pretend I don’t have feelings for him, that it hurts to turn off that switch. I sat down and decided to distract myself by looking through IG. I see your post, I clicked on it and I read what he had told me 3 days ago. Our marriage to my best friend was inevitably broken. I love him and I want him to be happy, but the pain is there. I just want the pain to go away, I don’t know how to manage it. I don’t know how long it took you and your partner to make things work but I want that for me, for my kids and for him.
I don’t know that your arrangement would work for me but thank you for this. It just give me hope, hope that he will be happy hope that my kids can have us and hope that I will not loose my best friend.
You two are exceptional parents and to share this with the world just goes to show how much you care about making a positive change for generations to come.
Looking forward to all that’s yet to come for you and your family!!
Positive Support from this Mom who Tris in Miami!
This is amazing Linda 🥰 you have worked so hard to find your truth & I’m wishing you every happiness as you continue to evolve xx
Wow! So powerful and brave! You are on your way to be truly happy! P.S. what tik tok? 😅
You go lady 💜 so incredibly honored to read this, hear your story, and know how much strength this must’ve taken.
Good. For. You. & thank you for sharing.
I’ve been following you for quite awhile, what I’m wondering is how can I’ve missed that your name is Linda?? Love it! 😉 jokes aside, I love your honesty and that you are sharing this and all struggles with motherhood. We need moms like you showing us we’re okay even with all the struggling going on. Good luck with this next chapter 💗
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Thank you for being so honest and open and vulnerable in a world that although might be changing in the right direction isn’t quite there yet! I got a divorce during the pandemic and while it wasn’t for the same reasons and I cannot say it was amicable, your content brought a lot of feelings of being seen and laughter during the hardest time of my life. Keep being you and putting your love out there! Good things are coming – for us both! Take care of yourself!
You are a Gem. In fact a Diamond. And I kid you not your content let’s me know I’m not the only parent experiencing some of the daily crazy. 😘😘😘
How very brave abs courage’s of you to not only admit this to yourself but to write about it too! Sending you lots of love across the ocean ❤️
I’m interested in what kind of woman it is and which TickTock creators do you recommend?
So curious what the specific kind of woman is that you are referring to… everybody’s got their thing and I’m glad you’ve found yours 🙂
I am curious as to what type of woman you are describing in this sentence, “Being attracted to the same sex never occured to me until tiktok showed me a specific type of woman, I had never really been exposed to before” can you explain? Also what you are describing is called a Parenting Marriage, where basically you are roommates raisning kids together! Happy for you that you are finding yourself. Keep up the great content.
Wow that’s a huge and brave thing to share on here. I’m happy for you that you’ve discovered such an important truth about yourself and that you’re handling it in such a healthy way for you and your family. Sending lots of love. Also if you don’t make some kind of ‘tiktok made me gay’ t-shirt it would be a travesty 😂💛xxxx
It took me about 34 years to realize that I am bisexual. This blog spoke peace to my soul. Thank you for your honesty and openness.
I love the end extra fruity! Way to go way to make being you okay. So proud of you and I truly hope this inspires others. You make me day everyday thank you
Hi Linda,
I’m a mom of 2 littles that’s followed you for a couple years now. I feel I can relate to you so much. Even though we’re strangers, I love you for who you are and I’m happy to hear you are breaking free of your chrysalis and spreading your beautiful butterfly wings 🦋
I enjoy following you and at the end of the day you always being a smile to my face. I rarely go to someone’s bio and this would be my first comment.
I just wanted to say Thank you for sharing so much of you. Sending so much positive vibe your way. Wishing you the very best and have fun on your journey.
Hi Linda. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I am Evelina from Argentina. I became a mother last year on May 29th. Rafa is the love of my life and my worst nightmare. I love reading your posts… it makes me feel normal.
I don’t understand what Tiktok uncovered. 🙄
I am struggling so much. My sex life is gone. I don’t feel like having sex anymore. I wonder if it will ever come back. I only do it for my partner, I feel it’s my duty.I just want to sleep.
Thank you Linda. You are a great mum.
I send you a big hug 🤗
I love this. You’re incredible, easily my favorite influencer. <3
Wow. I literally could’ve written this blog as it mirrors my own life and feelings to a tee. I commend you for having the strength to be so honest with yourself and husband, and he for being so accepting and strong. I moved out a year ago (live a mile away from my husband) – contemplated the “under one roof” but knew it ultimately wouldn’t work for us. I hope it does for you and if nothing else, at least you can say you tried. What you describe about the initial lust dispersing and then “meh”…every time for me. And….oh yes…exact same realization from TikTok. I’m still working through all of that in my own head, but needless to say this post confirmed in my mind that it’s not just a mid-life crisis on my part. So thank you. Wishing you and your lovely family the very best x
Thank you for sharing. What type of woman did tiktok show you huh were attracted to?
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been wondering why in ten years together my husband has never given me an orgasm. I’ve been thinking about being with women for so long but afraid to really commit to the idea. I’m hi-curious I thought. But I don’t really know because I’m stuck in something that isn’t working. Your story coming lit right now aligns with my instinct telling me something has to change.
Congratulations to finally knowing your truth. Glad to hear you and your hubby are still friends and going to try and make it work.
And I mean try and make it work under one roof, not romantically.
I think you are great and hysterical.
Oh mama!
I’ve been following you for a while now. LOVE your content. You’re the best thing on my Insta feed.
Thank you for telling your story. I’ve read it over and over today and I’m not sure why. Can I ask what time of woman you’ve been exposed to that’s changed everything?
Good for you baby!! We are doing the EXACT. SAME. THING. We are about three years in. We have both met people that we really like and are serious with but haven’t introduced them to the kids yet. (Soon!!) We are happier, healthier and even CLOSER friends. You get ONE wild and precious life and you get to decide what you’re going to do with it. Way to go, stepping into your authenticity. I have lots of supportive resources if you need them, email me!! Have fun sis!!
You go girl! I admire you for facing truth and not hiding it to please others. 🙏🏽
I’ll never leave ! I have been following you for some time now and you’ve gotten me through so much! The laughs ! Oh the laughs ! Some even through tears are what got me through some of the tougher times in my motherhood journey. I wanna thank you for your honesty and openness! You opened my eyes to so many things that they don’t share about motherhood, parenthood and relationships. But what’s even more important is family and I commend you for putting your little ones first. I’m proud of you ! I admire you ! You will figure this out and I know that your content will grow even more bc of your revelations. ❣️
First: Hugs! Fist bump
I am so proud of you for writing about your authentic experience. I wish you all the best
From a fellow touched-out mom
I love this! This seems like a very responsible and reasonable approach. My husband and I have been together for 21 years. We got together in ‘99 at the ages of 18 & 19, and quickly became young parents. He was not ready to give up his youth for parenthood, and out of “love” and because I thought it was the right thing to do, I tolerated his behavior. Some events occurred in 2008 that really made both of us do some serious soul searching and behavior modification, which in turn caused us to view one another with a renewed mutual respect. While reestablishing our relationship in 2010, one of the things we agreed upon was that if there was ever prolonged periods of inadequacy in any aspect of our marriage, or if perchance another had caught our eye, that we would not hold each other at fault. We understood the fact that people evolve (and at their own pace) and if we were no longer in stride, well, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Our agreement is to confront one another from a place of reasoning. And, as being that we uphold so much support and respect for each other we would address our situations and feelings before making any kind of hasty decisions, even if there was a thought of infidelity or otherwise, and if moving on was the course, so be it. No love lost, because we too are best friends and were before marriage, have children and quite honestly, I don’t think we could navigate through our lives without each other. Honoring the trust and love is what makes relationships work, respect and understanding make it thrive. All the best to you and your family.
Always will keep watching the amazing, fun, beautiful, hilarious woman you are on social media! This world needs you, thank you for being real and YOU!
Thank you for sharing!! How did you have that conversation with your husband??? I feel like I might be in a similar situation but I don’t even know how to bring that up?
You are so strong and beautiful and your husband is amazing and supportive and I wish the best for you both! May you each find someone who tickles your fancy… and everything else! 😉
Congrats! I am 52 years and am dating a woman for the first time- so you figured it out much sooner than I did! Lol. My 20 year marriage was ending (for unrelated reasons- infidelity on his part). I have always been attracted to “a certain type of woman” as well but never explored it. I am now and am loving it! So again, congrats!