Unsolicited advice is a well-known intrusion into the lives of new moms, often met with eye-rolls or polite nods. But what if that advice came from a place of empathy, understanding, and shared experience? What if it felt like a letter from your future self, offering insights and reassurances about the tumultuous journey of postpartum life?
I reached out to the amazing Fruits of Motherhood community and posed a simple yet profound question: “What’s something you wish someone would have told you about postpartum?” The floodgates opened, and the responses poured in with honesty, vulnerability, and a deep sense of camaraderie. These insights aren’t just helpful—they’re invaluable gems of wisdom passed down from mothers who have navigated the choppy waters of postpartum life.
Here are the things they wished someone would have told them:
- Befriend moms who have babies the same age and 2 years older.
- It’s so hard and nothing is yours anymore – not your time, body, mind or emotions.
- Your now is not your forever.
- Cook when the baby cooks!
- That every bit of it would fucking suck but htat you will feel like yourself again after two years.
- Not breastfeeding is ok! Don’t stress and worry! Your happiness and sanity matters too.
- Intrusive thoughts without end can be a sign of PP OCD. Ask for help.
- No one is coming to help you get used to living this way.
- You might cry uncontrollably on day 3 or 4, it’s normal.
- It’s ok to ask for help.
- You are doing too much.
- Everyone will leave. Learn to reply on yourself. Trust your instincts.
- That postpartum anxiety was something to keep an eye out for.
- It goes on longer than 6 weeks.
- It feels impossible because it is, you’re not a bad mom.
- Hire a house cleaner, get out of the damn house and ask your spouse for help.
- Diastasis Recti and how to deal with it.
- Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish but essential.
- I wish I knew or believed that everyone struggles during this time, that it wasn’t just me.
- Buy clothes for postpartum that aren’t maternity clothes and that are not pre-pregnancy clothes.
- It’s okay to say you’re not okay when someone asks.
- You may not instantly love your baby.
- You can’t clock out.
- How much you can lose yourself and how to best manage those feelings
- How long it actually takes to feel “normal” again.
- Enjoy the baby, don’t worry about SIDS every single second.
- Breastfeeding makes your boobs shrivel away.
- How hard it would be on my marriage.
- “Mom Thumb” also known as “Quervain’s tenosynovitis,” I didn’t know it was a thing!
- That being “touched out” doesn’t mean you are a bad mom.
- That it’s fucked and I feel like more people need to say how fucked it is.
As you journey through the ups and downs of postpartum life, remember that you’re not alone. Every piece of advice shared here is a reminder that other moms have walked this path before you and are here to offer support and understanding.
If you’re a new mom looking for an easier way to deal with the overwhelm, stress and anxiety. I created a guide and dashboard that has everything you could ever need. To keep you on track, so you don’t neglect yourself entirely in the process.
