What happens when a mother wakes up?

We get the bottles, prepare the breakfast, start to clean up the shitshow of a house from last night, grocery shop, plan dinner, do a load of laundry all while our partner is slowly getting out of bed. But why? Sometimes it’s because we want to, but were we also told we had to?

To be a “good” wife we need a clean house? To be the “perfect” mom we need to do it all, right? Be all the things to all the people, all the time. Yeah, that’s going to be a no for me…

 

 

If a baby is born and presumed to be a girl, she’s already expected to help care for her other siblings. Give her a dolls to allow her to practice being a caretaker. Give her princesses to show her she needs a prince. Her future is already planned for her, marriage, children and house keeper. Since when did having a uterus decide our future? Since when did a uterus mean you were obligated to prepare 3 meals a day and 2 snacks for everyone under your roof?

(Granted if we are the only ones in the house, someone has to feed the kids) 

We were not born to clean the house, we were not born to please everyone around us, excluding ourselves. We were not meant to constantly put ourselves last.

Seemingly giving and giving until there is nothing left. Clean the house, do the dishes, vacuum the floors, tend to every diaper, look like a supermodel, be kind, smile, please your husband after a long day of doing shit you already don’t want to fucking do.

I’m fucking done.

Whatever happened to our needs, our wants, our passion, our creative ideas, our time?

I’ve seen videos OF WOMEN saying if you don’t meet your husband’s needs than he’s expected to fill his need elsewhere.

 

WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT OUR NEEDS? THIS IS NOT A ONE WAY STREET.

 

Our bodies are our own and we can set boundaries on how we use our body. We can choose to limit access to anyone at anytime.

For example, breastfeeding? Again, your body your choice. It’s your body. Don’t let anyone guilt you into feeling any different.

Sex? Your body, your choice and don’t let anyone guilt you into feeling any different.

Sex is not a chore on the laundry list. It’s a connection, it’s a moment in time, it’s not an obligation.

You were not meant to please everyone but yourself.

It’s time you feel the strength of what it truly means to be a woman. Our brains are electric with ideas and problem solving skills. Our bodies build and birth life. We (if we choose to) can feed another human from our body. Our bodies have it’s very own filtration system that regulates us every month. We are smart and hold so much power. Just think about all we take on and overcome. All the scheduling and reminding and micromanaging…

We were born to be more.

We were not meant to be miserable and denying ourselves the very gift of life because we became a mother and wife.

PLEASE YOURSELF.

 

We need to advocate for ourselves, our needs and wants. We deserve that. By doing so we let other moms and women know it’s ok to do the same too.

We are not MORE by giving ourselves LESS.

 

Saying we need more outside of motherhood and more connection before putting out does not make you a bad mother or wife. It makes you aware.

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:

For anyone who is lucky enough to not resonate with this post, I’m happy for you. You are one step ahead of me.

Also, if you enjoying cleaning and doing every single fucking thing for your family too, I’m happy for you.

Yes, we still have to care for our families, we are mothers, but we can make someone else care for them too.