Warning: I’m going to be brutally honest here and explain because most people just say you know when you know, but that wasn’t helpful for me when I was curious myself.

Most of you know already how much I enjoyed being a mom after my second child and for those who don’t know it’s because I most likely had undiagnosed PPA. So I wondered if I was finished, because I enjoyed it so much more and he is beyond cute and filled with giggles.

I questioned myself the whole first year of his life and then it hit me. Maybe it was a combination of covid quarantine and the energy spent trying to entertain two boys all day long, but I finally had my answer. I was done having children.

Previous to this moment I would see pregnant women and long for that feeling again, seeing newborns would make me cry, it was very intense but now, I want to hug and squeeze and kiss and love because I don’t think we ever get tired of babies but I after the love sesh, I will gladly give them back.

I finally have this sense of freedom from raising tiny humans and found space to be my own person again.

My body is my own again.

I can prioritize my needs and wants and I don’t want to give it up. I can shower while my husband has two kids and mentally check out. It was really hard doing that in those first few years. Which some of you will understand and some of you may not.

I feel a sense of been there done that in my heart and chapter in my life has closed and it feels good to have an answer.

Thinking about starting over, being pregnant, the breastfeeding, the crying, pacing the floors, the gestational diabetes, I cringe.

To be clear, I’m still happy for women who are deciding to procreate, like even happier than when I found out I was pregnant.

I’m so thankful to have my new healthy boys and this is not to put anyone off from having more kids, just my feelings on how I knew I was done to help anyone else who is questioning themselves.

I would totally birth a 8 month old, but that’s not an option yet–haha.